Inspected by No. 12

"FIVE MINUTE WARNING!" I shout from the bottom of the stairs. "HUSTLE HUSTLE HUSTLE."  If I drop them off so much as a minute late today, I'll be late for my work meeting.

"Comeonecomeonecomeoncomeon," I hustle them out the door.

Finally I pull up at school drop off and they jump out. I shout "love yous" through the open window at their retreating backs. Peanut turns to blow me a kiss, but then cocks her head as she looks at me quizzically.

Then her face clears and she smiles. "Nice sticker, Mom!" she shouts as the bell rings. Then she turns and she and Boo run into the school.

I look in the rear view mirror at the upper third of my face. No sticker. I stretch my neck and turn my head. No sticker. The car behind me honks and I get on my way, searching my person at every stop in traffic.

I get to my client's office and try to do a full body search in the parking lot, painfully aware of the 12 stories of floor-to-ceiling windows in front of me. I can't find the sticker.

You know how when you're meeting with someone and they keep rubbing their nose? You get weirded out thinking there something hanging out of your nose and start rubbing at yours and that weirds them out and by the end of the meeting everyone is spastically rubbing and no one is looking at anyone else? That was this meeting - but with hair, face and clothes touching instead of of nose rubbing. What a train wreck.

When I got home I took off every piece of clothing and inspected it. Nothing.

I couldn't wait for after school.I pounced on poor Peanut the minute she got in the car.

She looked at me blankly, "Sticker?" 

"You know, when you said 'nice sticker, mom,' did I have an Elmo sticker on me or something?" For some reason in my mind, Elmo is the worst-case scenario. 

"Ohhhh," she finally remembers. "No it was that thingie on your jacket. The jewelery thingie."

I just stare at her. "The pin? My stickpin?"

"Right!" She says. "Stickpin! That's what it's called. Stickpin. Right. Yours is cool," then she turns to look out the window, distracted by some kids walking their dog.

Stickpin. Not sticker. There was never any sticker.